• mum: can you-
  • me: *groans for 17 hours*
  • l-ibellule:

    austin-n-oli:

    Confession: I have a friend who likes to text me at like 4am when he’s had nightmares or he can’t sleep or he just needs a friend. He thinks I’m always awake at 4am but really I go to bed around 12am and I change his text-tone to the loudest one I have just so it wakes me up when he needs me.

    you’re the kind of friend everyone needs

    elicrotch:

    v0ciferation:

    checks grades

    *bastille voice* how am i gonna be an optimist about this

    well if you close your eyes

    thefaultinourunicorns:

    plot twist: your teacher accidentally calls you mom

    supjerbear:

    i need to get something off my chest

    *takes off my nipple*

    funnyandhilarious:

One of my favorite Jay moments on Modern Family »
    128

    spoopykatee:

    my mom just said “watch this” then ran a red light and said “i just don’t care”

    nottoooldfordisney:

    me: ah yes time to start my homework

    me: *opens tumblr*

    me: *watches 25 youtube tutorials*

    me: *sings the entirety of bohemian rhapsody* 

    me: *rearranges room*

    me: *reads les mis*

    me: *watches every tom hiddleston interview on the internet*

    me: *writes a novel*

    me: *publishes novel*

    me: *has novel made into 3 movies and a video game*

    me: *takes the ring to mordor*

    me: *defeats lord voldemort*

    me: well its too late to start it now